I should probably have ushered in the New Year with a scintillating diatribe on the state of the world as we know it, full of biting wit and scathing social commentary. I could have done something fresh with the concept of New Years Resolutions (did anyone else notice that it seemed the cool thing to do this New Years was not make any New Years Resolutions at all?) Always one to buck the trend (or so my horoscopes repeatedly says) I made a very long list of New Years Resolutions, however was rather cunning about it. See, I made ones that I will enjoy keeping or keep already, so as to give myself a pleasant (if not unwarranted) sense of smugness when I assess my resolve.
As it stands, I have been unforgivably lazy in my writing and have done nothing further than jot down various points of interest in my days that are filled with retail and playing with a 6 year old (who at times provides better conversation than the people I serve in retail). Most of these jottings comprise how much I detest people and this bitterness stems purely from working in retail and my continuing campaign to rid the road of drivers over the age of 60. This does mean that in 5 years my father will no longer be allowed on the roads, but he’ll just have to understand. It is for the greater good.
And so, seeing as my first blog for the year is being penned on the eve of the beginning of the second month of 2008, and was not, as it should have been, written in the early and somewhat drunken hours of January 1st, perhaps the best way to approach this piece is to assess my resolve in regards to my litany of New Years Resolutions …
I Will Read More Classics:
This was approached with great vigour on my part, although I regret to say Persuasion remains unfinished, whilst my trio of Jodi Picoult’s, purchased in a Buy 2 Get One Free frenzy, are all but complete. This is nothing against Jane who remains, in my eyes, one of the best, it is everything against my lazy brain which has always shunned the classics when it has been told to read them. This is why few spines of my English texts were cracked during my school years. Clearly my loss, and I shall persevere with Persuasion as soon as I have finished Jodi’s Amish tale.
I Will Drink More Good Red Wine:
The ‘good’ of this one was added as an afterthought when I admitted to myself, somewhat reluctantly, that without it, this resolution was less a resolution than a clear admission of a problem. And so on several occasions this year, under the guise of deciding what my palate prefers (a Bordeaux or Burgundy) I have more than fulfilled this particular resolution, and my determination to continue with such fervour and passion is heart warming and inspiring.
I Will Use Hand Cream:
This was buoyed along by the embarrassing discovery, upon cleaning out my bathroom cupboards, that I own no less than 10 individual tubes/pots of hand-cream and yet possess a pair of leathery paws that would befit a lizard. I have since finished one tube, yet found another one that took my fancy in my mother’s bathroom, so have essentially broken even in the hand cream department. My hands, however, are like velvet.
I Will Take More Bubble Baths:
Similarly, I discovered a shocking amount of bubble bath bottles and several decrepit bath bombs from Christmases passed, during this bathroom blitz. Despite the fact I routinely take a long bubble bath once a week, I saw no harm in upping this to 2-3, if only to get the most out of my various potions. I then replenished my stock when a simple stroll through David Jones revealed a large sale on their beauty products. A Juicy Mango body scrub awaits my skin patiently, whilst I frolic amongst Lemon Meringue scented bubbles.
I Will Keep My Car Clean:
Thankfully, the unseasonable amount of rain has seen to this.
I Will Sing More, (and More Loudly) In The Shower:
If only for the entertainment of our gardener who has been known to clean the bathroom roof gutters whilst I am in the shower.
I Will Stop Reading the Social Pages. They Are Bad For My Soul:
This was the last bullet point on my list, and dashed down after a violent reaction to a photograph of an Australian designer’s child. The tot, aged one, was clad in tailored tuxedo pants, Gwen Stefani LAMB sneakers, a bonds singlet and a large medallion given to it by its godfather. I think it’s name may also be Maxamillion.
And so I closed the book on photos of horsey blondes simpering for seedy photographers and waving flutes of champagne thicker than their own legs. My soul has blossomed since.
I Will Spend More Quality Time With Jackson (My Dog):
Perhaps the best quality time spent.
***
It has been a good year thus far. My resolve is strong, my faith in humanity continues to waver as a direct result of dealing with the public day in, day out, and my fragrance collection is larger and healthier than ever. The Australian Open was the best so far, and I have recently discovered my Tuesday morning workout coincides with that of the entire Sydney FC team. Now I am not the only one who has to suffer the mirrored visage of my red, sweating self on the cross trainer.
2008 has begun with great promise.
As it stands, I have been unforgivably lazy in my writing and have done nothing further than jot down various points of interest in my days that are filled with retail and playing with a 6 year old (who at times provides better conversation than the people I serve in retail). Most of these jottings comprise how much I detest people and this bitterness stems purely from working in retail and my continuing campaign to rid the road of drivers over the age of 60. This does mean that in 5 years my father will no longer be allowed on the roads, but he’ll just have to understand. It is for the greater good.
And so, seeing as my first blog for the year is being penned on the eve of the beginning of the second month of 2008, and was not, as it should have been, written in the early and somewhat drunken hours of January 1st, perhaps the best way to approach this piece is to assess my resolve in regards to my litany of New Years Resolutions …
I Will Read More Classics:
This was approached with great vigour on my part, although I regret to say Persuasion remains unfinished, whilst my trio of Jodi Picoult’s, purchased in a Buy 2 Get One Free frenzy, are all but complete. This is nothing against Jane who remains, in my eyes, one of the best, it is everything against my lazy brain which has always shunned the classics when it has been told to read them. This is why few spines of my English texts were cracked during my school years. Clearly my loss, and I shall persevere with Persuasion as soon as I have finished Jodi’s Amish tale.
I Will Drink More Good Red Wine:
The ‘good’ of this one was added as an afterthought when I admitted to myself, somewhat reluctantly, that without it, this resolution was less a resolution than a clear admission of a problem. And so on several occasions this year, under the guise of deciding what my palate prefers (a Bordeaux or Burgundy) I have more than fulfilled this particular resolution, and my determination to continue with such fervour and passion is heart warming and inspiring.
I Will Use Hand Cream:
This was buoyed along by the embarrassing discovery, upon cleaning out my bathroom cupboards, that I own no less than 10 individual tubes/pots of hand-cream and yet possess a pair of leathery paws that would befit a lizard. I have since finished one tube, yet found another one that took my fancy in my mother’s bathroom, so have essentially broken even in the hand cream department. My hands, however, are like velvet.
I Will Take More Bubble Baths:
Similarly, I discovered a shocking amount of bubble bath bottles and several decrepit bath bombs from Christmases passed, during this bathroom blitz. Despite the fact I routinely take a long bubble bath once a week, I saw no harm in upping this to 2-3, if only to get the most out of my various potions. I then replenished my stock when a simple stroll through David Jones revealed a large sale on their beauty products. A Juicy Mango body scrub awaits my skin patiently, whilst I frolic amongst Lemon Meringue scented bubbles.
I Will Keep My Car Clean:
Thankfully, the unseasonable amount of rain has seen to this.
I Will Sing More, (and More Loudly) In The Shower:
If only for the entertainment of our gardener who has been known to clean the bathroom roof gutters whilst I am in the shower.
I Will Stop Reading the Social Pages. They Are Bad For My Soul:
This was the last bullet point on my list, and dashed down after a violent reaction to a photograph of an Australian designer’s child. The tot, aged one, was clad in tailored tuxedo pants, Gwen Stefani LAMB sneakers, a bonds singlet and a large medallion given to it by its godfather. I think it’s name may also be Maxamillion.
And so I closed the book on photos of horsey blondes simpering for seedy photographers and waving flutes of champagne thicker than their own legs. My soul has blossomed since.
I Will Spend More Quality Time With Jackson (My Dog):
Perhaps the best quality time spent.
***
It has been a good year thus far. My resolve is strong, my faith in humanity continues to waver as a direct result of dealing with the public day in, day out, and my fragrance collection is larger and healthier than ever. The Australian Open was the best so far, and I have recently discovered my Tuesday morning workout coincides with that of the entire Sydney FC team. Now I am not the only one who has to suffer the mirrored visage of my red, sweating self on the cross trainer.
2008 has begun with great promise.
